all i gotta say is WOW. this new bike all it's cracked up to be. handling is excellent, ride is excellent, and i have no complaints about it. heck, i even fit the truck in the garage last night w/o the center stand...i was impressed fro certain!

Dr. Albert Schwiker and Dr. Cynthia Little released their findings today that eating is dangerous to your health. "We've found that the normal American could very possbily contract some disease whether it be within a 24-hour time period or a 24 year period. We find this very alarming" said Dr. Schiwiker. Their study could mean the end for the industrial food markets of our country and quite possibly the world. "Our first thought was one of disbelief. I mean, how could these companies even think to put the public in harms way?" The scientists found that eating fatty foods (Fast food, chocolate, etc) could lead to heart disease along with other possible life-threatening diseases over extended periods of time. Even certain foods that the entire world finds as a staple, bread has now been found as a lethal killer. It has recently been found in a conjunctive study that bread, french fries, and chips could mean contracting cancer later in life! "Naturally, when we saw this study, we concluded that the sky is falling and someone needs to hear about this!" Dr. C. Little cried. Also found in their extensive studies, was that food can pick up tiny bacteria that could be quite fatal and questions were raised to as whether or not the FDA has plans to combat the "Jack In The Box" incident that happend in Oregon in an event of a nationwide outbreak.

So what can be done to help prevent an untimely death by eating? Well, the doctors had little to add, seeing as we need to eat food and said that they can only hope that death will be quick for all. However, they do not advocate cannibalism, as other humans may be infected with fatal disease. "We can only hope that the government can come up with a dietary supplement that we can all eat and do away with farming and food as we know it," Dr. Schwiker added.

But we as a news agency to advocate such things, so we came up with our own suggestions:

Stop buying your groceries. Start a garden to support your family's food habits. Granted this means taking a risk using lawn & garden equipment, which could possibly be fatal. You could get a limb caught in a motor and sever your arm, thus contracting a gangreen and dying in a most horrible fashion.

Do not leave your house, although, Carbon Monoxide may build up in your house and in the end kill you. Possibly there is asbestos is your house, contracting cancer of another kind.

Well, that kind of leaves no options then, other than foraging for food and living outdoors. However, that may mean a wild creature could eat YOU while you were foraging or you may eat a poisonous berry or mushroom.

So, I guess we really don't have any suggestions other than what the doctors have come up with. We wish you, humanity, a fond fairwell.

i just want to say, that being this the day of all days for me to be able to pick up my bike...it really sucks. see, last week at this time, i had 80 degree weather, which clearly means i could of skipped karate class and gone and went riding for ooh, say a 100 miles w/o even thinking about it. but now, i'm going to attemp to go at most 15 miles today and be luck if i can feel my legs or any part of my body.

yes, yes, i know what you're all saying. Paul, you numb skull, do it another day. Well you see guys, i can't wait another day, waiting another day would mean that money i'm spending now is being used and that thing that i now own is away from me. it's like missing a child or a long lost lover. yes that is borderline insanity talking...but dang it...i need my new bike!!

ahh...found some great sites this morning...

one of them declaring April(?) "Shut the Hell Up" month..oh man..i absolutely LOVED this page!! Hats off to cruel.com for that one.
http://www.uwarp.iwarp.com/quiet.htm

and the other being the Obscure Store...rarely heard, sometimes amusing or sometimes disturbing news articles from around the country..
http://www.obscurestore.com/

oh and by the way Happy Anzac Day!!!!

pappy's has become a foul place today. the stromboli has lost it's allure. it was just overpacked and not done very well today. the green peppers were quite foul and made me want to vomit. they were quite brown looking and it kind of reminded me of the color jalepeno peppers...they tasted just as foul as they looked.

i think for me, i'm going to be pappy's free....

paul, you are the only one who didn't see you riding a triumph by the end of april.

and scott, you had a dream with jenna jameson and the best you could do was go to eat n park? i hope that was a very censored version of the dream...

oh, and by the way, you are dead meat.

indeed, i completely forgot about it, but i know i can catch another showing of BoB sometime....i'll check out HBO's site and see when it's going down.

hmm, i'm most definately interested in the New England trip....

man, i never would of thought two months ago i'd be riding a triumph before the end of april. man, such a sweet bike i'm going to have. i can't wait to just look it all over. but after that is done...the riding will ensue and i'm sure it's going to be a blissful moment everytime i sit in the saddle...new england...here i come!